All or nothing thinking
All or nothing thinking
Why it happens and what to do about it
Hello,
Happy Sunday. How was your week? Weather in England has been awful, making me question all over again why I am in this country.
Today we discuss a common pitfall we encounter when wanting to make lifestyle choices: all or nothing thinking.
If you are ready to invest in figuring out your PCOS, you might consider working with me on a one-to-one basis. You can book a discovery call here.
We’ve all been there: we make a decision that we need to lead a healthier lifestyle to support our health and manage our symptoms, and so we do a big overhaul. We decide to start on Monday and make some drastic changes to both our food intake and our exercise routine.
We swear off chocolate (despite it being something we enjoy), avoid crisps, biscuits, and alcohol at all costs, and find an unbelievable amount of willpower to say no to the doughnut our colleague brought for their birthday because we’re eating healthy. We also commit to going to the gym every single day, determined to make up for lost time and achieve our fitness goals.
This is the all or nothing thinking - a way of thinking where we take things to extremes, either doing something completely or not doing it at all. When you think this way, you only see two choices: success or failure.
While the all or nothing approach might seem like the ultimate form of dedication, it doesn't support sustainable long-term success. When we inevitably end up eating something we've set "off-limits" or miss a day of exercise because we aren't feeling well, we fall into the thinking trap that we've ruined everything.
This often leads to feelings of failure and the belief that we can't keep up, leading us to give up on our goals altogether. However, reframing this mindset can help us see that small steps forward, even if they're not perfect, still count as progress. This can boost our motivation and confidence, making it easier to stay on track with our goals and support our health and wellbeing.
Examples of All or Nothing Thinking:
To identify all or nothing thinking, pay attention to the words you use when discussing your actions or your goals and if you use polarising language such as "never," "perfect" "always" "should" and "shouldn't" “failure”.
One of the best way to deal with all nothing is reframe and pay attention to the way you speak to yourself:
From:
"I always ruin my efforts to eat healthy when I eat dessert. I'll never be able to manage my PCOS symptoms”
To:
“Sometimes I enjoy dessert, and that’s okay. One treat doesn’t undo all my efforts to eat healthily. I can still manage my PCOS symptoms by making balanced choices overall.”
From:
"I should never eat carbs if I want to manage my PCOS. If I go eat at my favourite Italian restaurant and have my favourite pasta dish, it's a total failure."
To:
“Enjoying a pasta dish at my favourite restaurant doesn’t mean I’ve failed. I can still manage my PCOS by balancing my meals and incorporating a variety of foods especially if it’s food I enjoy.”
From
"If I can't make it to the gym every single day, I might as well not exercise at all. I should be doing intense workouts in order to improve my insulin resistance."
To:
“It’s OK if I can’t make it to the gym every day. Any amount of exercise, even if it’s not intense, can still benefit my insulin resistance. I can find fun ways to move my body that fit my schedule.”
Why It Happens?
The all or nothing mindset is a common way of thinking we might fall into when we want to make significant lifestyle changes, particularly when motivated by health concerns. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking drastic measures are needed for success. This mindset often stems from a desire for perfection and immediate results.
Who’s More Likely to Experience This Type of Thinking?
People who strive for perfection in all aspects of life or those who have very high expectations are more likely to adopt an all or nothing approach. They believe anything less than perfect adherence to their goals is a failure. However, this happens to everyone and we know that perfection doesn’t exist!
A more balanced approach will get us further
Adopting a more balanced and flexible approach where we recognise that small, consistent efforts can lead to significant progress over time will get us further. This mindset allows for occasional indulgences and setbacks that will inevitably happen without feeling like a failure. This makes it easier to maintain healthy habits in the long run.
3 Tips to Overcome All-or-Nothing Thinking
Identify and reframe your thoughts
Label your thoughts without judgment and try to reframe them. Reframe polarising language like "always" or "never" to be more balanced and realistic. For example, instead of saying "I'll never be able to manage my PCOS symptoms," reframe it as "I might face challenges managing my PCOS symptoms, but I can take steps to improve my health and well being." Consider writing these thoughts in the Notes section of your app so you can keep track of them and reframe them on a day when you feel more positive about things.
Allow for flexibility
Explore different options and allow flexibility in your diet and exercise routine. Enjoy your favourite foods in moderation and find physical activities that genuinely bring you joy. For instance, rather than strictly avoiding carbs, allow yourself to enjoy a pasta dish at your favourite restaurant while still making balanced choices overall. Find out how to balance your meals with this guide (insert guide on how to make a nutrient dense meal)
Focus on Small Changes
Aim for 1% improvement each day by making small changes to your routine. This could include adding an extra vegetable to your meal, taking a short walk during your lunch break, drinking an extra glass of water, or starting to have one balanced breakfast a day. These small changes may seem insignificant individually, but they can lead to significant long term benefits when practiced consistently.
In conclusion, moving away from the all-or-nothing mindset and embracing a balanced, flexible approach can lead to more sustainable and satisfying results. Remember, it’s the small, consistent efforts that make the biggest difference over time.
See you next Sunday,
Francesca